Cassowary vs the world September 26, 2025 7:23 AMSubscribe
Sept. 26, 2025 is World Cassowary Day.
The cassowary's status as the world's deadliest bird has led many to wonder how it would fare in one-on-one, garro-a-mano mortal combat with... well, anything. Video:
Harpy eagle vs Cassowary: Who would win?
Well, is the cassowary pulling a chariot? posted by xedrik at 7:27 AM on September 26 [24 favorites]
I'm actually far more scared of emus than cassowaries.
Emus come in groups of up to 50, and can be quite aggressive, especially if they think you have food they can steal.
Cassowary USUALLY want to just melt quietly back into the forest. Cassowaries jump and run away if a small branch falls on a corrugated tin roof.
Cassowaries are far more likely to
a) run away from you
b) do a bluff charge with no physical contact.
As long as you give cassowaries and their chicks plenty of personal space, they are very unlikely to attack you.
The last person killed in Australia by a cassowary was April 6, 1926, and it was defending itself against an unprovoked attack by a human.
"In Australia, 16-year-old Phillip McClean and his brother, age 13, came across a cassowary on their property and decided to try to kill it by striking it with clubs. The bird kicked the younger boy, who fell and ran away as his older brother struck the bird. The older McClean then tripped and fell to the ground. While he was on the ground, the cassowary kicked him in the neck, opening a 1.25-centimetre (0.49 in) wound that severed his jugular vein. The boy died of his injuries shortly thereafter." posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:31 AM on September 26 [19 favorites]
Honestly, if you're worried about deadly Australian birds, the wild bird with the biggest death toll is the Australian magpie - in recent years, magpies swooping have caused
a) a death from a heart attack;
b) a death from causing a cyclist to fall off their bike;
c) a death from causing a woman to drop her baby (the baby died);
Tourists get far too close to a cassowary dad with a juvenile in tow, and he STILL doesn't get violent. (Don't do this, it's dangerous for humans and it also upsets the cassowaries.) posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:02 AM on September 26 [3 favorites]
ah yes I know exactly who posted this, time for the little hit of dopamine when I glance at the username and confirm my- WHAT posted by taquito sunrise at 9:27 AM on September 26 [4 favorites]
One man's solitary life with the cassowaries - posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries on April 25; again, no violence
(I emailed this to a friend with the Subject "living happily among huge scary birds") posted by kristi at 9:31 AM on September 26 [2 favorites]
I think one reason cassowaries have a distorted reputation is because posting a video on youtube titled "cassowary attack!"
even tho the video is just territorial warning vocalisations with no physical contact, or a bluff charge with no physical contact,
gets far more clicks and advertising revenue
than posting a video that's called "a cassowary wandered into my backyard, had a quiet look around, ate some mangoes off my mango tree, and then quietly wandered off again." posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:49 AM on September 26 [5 favorites]
Clearly, the cassowary violence reserves are badly depleted. Maybe, if people actually gave them cake, they¡¯d get sugared up and go on rampages!
Note: please don¡¯t do this. Cake can¡¯t be good for their digestive systems¡. posted by GenjiandProust at 10:55 AM on September 26
chariot pulled by cassowaries, I recently watched BBC¡¯s Parenthood, a Planet-Earth-style series narrated by David, and there was a beautiful segment on a cassowary dad that made me think of you. posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 11:21 AM on September 26 [3 favorites]
if you're worried about deadly Australian birds, the wild bird with the biggest death toll is the Australian magpie
The cassowary's status as the world's deadliest bird
I'm willing to bet money there have been more human deaths recorded, that resulted from one or both parties flipping the bird (as in hand gesture for those not conversant)
like, road rage deaths as an exclusive category blows Actual Bird cassowary's totals out of the fuckin water.
dang smear campaigns impugning the character of them glorious dang birds, this has to stop posted by Didymus at 12:50 PM on September 26 [1 favorite]
I bet if you tried to harness a team of cassowaries to a chariot there would be some violence.
But seriously, I love videos of cassowaries interacting with humans and trying to share their food. Reminds me of some dogs I have known. posted by TedW at 5:46 PM on September 26
¡°Why?¡± asked Larry, in his practical way. "Sergeant," admonished the Lieutenant, "you mustn't use such language to your men." "Yes," accorded Shorty; "we'll git some rations from camp by this evenin'. Cap will look out for that. Meanwhile, I'll take out two or three o' the boys on a scout into the country, to see if we can't pick up something to eat." Marvor, however, didn't seem satisfied. "The masters always speak truth," he said. "Is this what you tell me?" MRS. B.: Why are they let, then? My song is short. I am near the dead. So Albert's letter remained unanswered¡ªCaro felt that Reuben was unjust. She had grown very critical of him lately, and a smarting dislike coloured her [Pg 337]judgments. After all, it was he who had driven everybody to whatever it was that had disgraced him. He was to blame for Robert's theft, for Albert's treachery, for Richard's base dependence on the Bardons, for George's death, for Benjamin's disappearance, for Tilly's marriage, for Rose's elopement¡ªit was a heavy load, but Caro put the whole of it on Reuben's shoulders, and added, moreover, the tragedy of her own warped life. He was a tyrant, who sucked his children's blood, and cursed them when they succeeded in breaking free. "Tell my lord," said Calverley, "I will attend him instantly." HoME²Ô¾®¿Õ·¬ºÅѸÀ×Á´½Ó
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posted by xedrik at 7:27 AM on September 26 [24 favorites]