That's the funniest segment about women being targeted by yogurt advertisers I've ever seen.
posted by jeffkramer at 9:15 PM on May 9, 2008 [2 favorites]

Hi, I'm Conor Knighton from the Fictional Names Institute.
posted by fleetmouse at 9:17 PM on May 9, 2008

s'funny.
posted by loiseau at 9:18 PM on May 9, 2008

Moichandising!
this is great
posted by grobstein at 9:19 PM on May 9, 2008

Jamie Lee Curtis isn't a woman, silly.
posted by not applicable at 9:20 PM on May 9, 2008 [2 favorites]

I was all set to hate it and make a snarky comment, but y'know, she was actually pretty funny.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:22 PM on May 9, 2008

That made me laugh, especially the part about the women in grey hoodies. "I had a master's degree...but then I got married!"
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:24 PM on May 9, 2008

I shit my pants.
posted by Foam Pants at 9:34 PM on May 9, 2008

So, which is the one that make you poo real good?
posted by spilon at 9:34 PM on May 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

It's obvious, I've thought of it already, and still really great.

If I actually watched broadcast TV, it might make me introspect about the commercials.
posted by unmake at 9:36 PM on May 9, 2008

So, to be fair, I was fully prepared to hate this (one-link video post, snarky guy who's far too young to be on television in adult clothes introducing the piece, YOGURT.)

But as it turns out, this is a textbook example of how a single-link video post can be best-of-the-web; a talented person has put together a funny and thoughtful piece, and I'm glad you posted it.

Of course, I am married to a grey-hoodie gal, and our fridge is full of yogurt, so I might be perfectly poised to enjoy this. TARGET: ME.
posted by davejay at 9:37 PM on May 9, 2008

This was funnier than I expected it to be, and so I thank you.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:41 PM on May 9, 2008

Not to be a dick, davejay, but "adult clothes"? He's wearing the going-to-an-indie-rock-show uniform there.
posted by griphus at 9:43 PM on May 9, 2008

she's really funny

yeah, hillary - "EAT IT!"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:49 PM on May 9, 2008 [3 favorites]

The video: Very funny.

That guy's tie: Very thin.
posted by knave at 10:07 PM on May 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

Do I have to be a bloviating consumer to understand get this?
posted by porpoise at 11:04 PM on May 9, 2008

I really, very dearly hate the "It's [generic female experience] good!" commercials.

I'd like to spend some more time expressing just why I hate them so much, but that video pretty much explained it.
posted by Ms. Saint at 11:20 PM on May 9, 2008

That was funny, I chuckled. I hate those flavoured, basically fake yogurts, they're an abomination. More sugar than bacteria and it's dead bacteria because of the heating process they go through. They're a worthless non-health food.
posted by zarah at 11:27 PM on May 9, 2008

I actually wrote a complaint email to Yoplait once about how there were never dudes eating yogurt in their commercials. This was their response:

Dear Mr. -----:

Thank you for contacting Yoplait regarding discrimination in programming. It is not our intention to discriminate against anyone because of race, age, sex or religion. We are sorry if this appeared that way to you, or if we offended you in any way. We have long had a policy which demands that our advertising personnel and agencies keep constantly vigilant to see that minorities are considered for each production that we do. We believe we have a good record in this area.

Your opinions are important to us and will be carefully reviewed with our marketing and advertising staff. We appreciate your interest and hope you continue to enjoy our products.

Sincerely,

Craig Grey
General Mills
Consumer Services

posted by kyleg at 11:43 PM on May 9, 2008 [15 favorites]

I too was surprised at how well-executed that was. Reminds me of those early-90s bran cereal ads where the guys in some generic office talked in coded language about how satisfying their bran-enabled shits were.

(Remember those? The hushed ecstatic whispering? "Have you tried it?" "Yeah. It's good." "How good?" "Real good . . ." Amazing how in a simple whispered intonation, you can convey the feeling of having just dropped a log the size of a boa constrictor . . . but I digress . . .)

Anyway, if this semi-obscure internet video can somehow convince my local grocers to not let the plain, Balkan-style go out of stock while the shelves yawn under the weight of berry-blast-flavoured probiotic Yo-Mamma!, I'd appreciate that as well.
posted by gompa at 12:27 AM on May 10, 2008 [8 favorites]

Brilliant. We need more hilarious media analysis. As much as possible.

"Yogurt: the official food of women."
posted by flotson at 12:33 AM on May 10, 2008

Straus Vanilla Yogurt or nothin'.

Giving a floating photo of HRC a spoonful of yogurt and saying "Eat it"? Brilliant.
posted by wemayfreeze at 1:37 AM on May 10, 2008

New! Just for men! Try our new BACON yogurt!
posted by subgear at 2:20 AM on May 10, 2008 [6 favorites]

hey, click on the scroll bar at the bottom of the pic, several times in a row, say about every other second. now they're rappin about yoghurt!
posted by billybobtoo at 2:52 AM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

I was actually in the middle of eating a container of Activa yogurt when I clicked this link.
posted by Jacqueline at 2:54 AM on May 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

This clip was obviously put together before the current generation of women/yogurt commercials (advertising one or the other, I don't know) where women old enough to know better have bare midriffs (I'm not sure if they're trying to style like a teen or this is some kind of CGI magic where you see through their clothes like with X-ray glasses) with Atomic Symbols whirling on them. The midriffs, that is, (you're with me, right?) and Atomic Symbols, you know, like with electron paths all zipping in ellipses around some teeny tiny lo-fat nucleus. I bet that's what yogurt particles look like!

Now I want to see the clip about weird women fantasies, such as that hair thing where the woman is rescued by that GoodLookingGuy driving a kind of helio-insecto-cycle who tugs her up by her long shining Rapunzel locks -- then, she insists on driving! Oh, yeah! Or the one where women are combing through this meadow of fashion things and tie them to little balloons and send them aloft to Consumerland. I mean, I don't really think this is the kind of fantasy enjoyed by the women I know. But maybe I move in a strange crowd. Commercials just make me feel alienated, or more so than usual anyway, and... [/ramble]
posted by CCBC at 2:54 AM on May 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

Wow, I must be one humourless guy, because I didn't find that funny at all. Not one iota. I watched about halfway, came here expecting the snark, and then went back and watched the rest because everyone here thought it was the best thing since sliced bread.

It just struck me as really poor observational comedy.
posted by djgh at 3:36 AM on May 10, 2008

I'm always amazed by the huge range of flavoured and sweetened 'yoghurt' in individual packs at the supermarket.

I go past all that to find a large tub of natural yoghurt preferably made from organic or bio-dynamic milk. Real yoghurt with real taste. If I want to add fruit I'll stew some myself. Occasionally I'll make the next few batches for myself using a tablespoon of the bought stuff as a starter.

Yoghurt - it's a very simple concept. Fermented milk. All the rest is not-yoghurt.

posted by Sitegeist at 3:58 AM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wow, that's a lot of pretty funny comments for the early AM. And no one seems inebriated.
posted by recurve at 4:54 AM on May 10, 2008

This was funny, and could easily not have been. I think it was mostly Sarah Haskins's delivery that made it.
posted by tomcooke at 5:29 AM on May 10, 2008

Good. "But what else could a woman possibly need?"

Feminine hygeine products. Or treatments for yeast infections. And ... yogurt has a place for that, too. Can we just throw some retinoids and beta hydroxyl acid in it so it goes on the skin, too?
posted by adipocere at 5:35 AM on May 10, 2008

What's with the faint praise? That was freakin' brilliant. I LOL'ed even before achieving full caffeination status. If Sarah Haskins actually wrote, a well as delivered it, she is a genius. Spot on. Suck it, faint praisers.
posted by theora55 at 5:49 AM on May 10, 2008

I thought the review was pretty funny but for me, it spurred questions as to whether or not there was any basis for claiming benefits from eating yogurt. I came up with this page on yogurt from "the world's healthiest foods" website which seems to review a lot of scientific data that there actually is a health benefit from eating yogurt regularly, particularly yogurt with active cultures.

I note the page was put up by the "George Mateljan Foundation" and Mr. Mateljan was the founder of Health Valley Foods, which he sold in 1996. While this is no guarantee of objectivity or accuracy, it does seem to indicate that he is not a complete crank.
posted by notmtwain at 5:51 AM on May 10, 2008

That was great.

I'm glad she mentioned the gray hoodie lady in the laundromat. It always bothered me how she just goes in there and starts fucking with the fat cashier lady. She's misleading and condescending and wraps it all up by all but mocking the cashier for their differences in girth. Seemed an over harsh way to sell yogurt.
posted by EatTheWeek at 6:01 AM on May 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

Yeah! I hate the gray hoodie lady!
posted by subgear at 6:05 AM on May 10, 2008

Now we just need someone to take Activia to task for how they trumpet that they have "beneficial bacterial cultures"!

Because....uh....ALL yogurt does. So basically they're just saying, "we're yogurt! Like...every yogurt!"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:14 AM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

It just struck me as really poor observational comedy.

Agreed. The proportion of straight replays of ads to actual commentary was annoying. As was that girl.
posted by spicynuts at 6:16 AM on May 10, 2008

So... Bifidus Regularis ... is that real science? Is it even real Latin?
posted by Grangousier at 6:20 AM on May 10, 2008

That was hilarious.
posted by Shepherd at 6:24 AM on May 10, 2008

Funny. Well worth sitting through if just for the grey-hoodie/masters degree comment. An instant humor demographic.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:33 AM on May 10, 2008

It was funny. Good job, kids. Do more.

And let me add,

Yoghurt=Pudding
posted by Faze at 6:37 AM on May 10, 2008

I went in for the voiceover on those Activia spots.

It's funny - the specs on the ad copy for products targeting women are always, "young, hip, with a natural, easy-going personality", or something similar, and the engineer always gives direction like, "Just real natural, like you're sitting around talking with, say, your mom."

So, setting aside the obvious challenges of conveying youth and hipness for a moment, and being a game little voiceover actor trying to get a job, I try to imagine any scenario in which I might utter the words "bifidus regularis" or stats like "87% of all Americans report suffering from poor bowel function" to my sweet, Alabama born and raised mother in ordinary conversation....

Me: Gee, Mom, you were in the bathroom for a really long time. Everything okay?

Mom: Well, sure, honey. Everything's fine. (long pause) Why do you ask?

Me: Well, Mom, it's just that 87% of Americans report suffering from poor bowel function. Are you suffering from poor bowel function? It's okay to tell me if you are.

(long pause)

Mom: Honey, I really don't think we should get into this at the breakfast table. (changes subject) What is this "Facebook" thing I keep hearing about? Pass the butter, please.

Me: Funny you should mention "passing", Mom. (pulls Dannon Activia yogurt tub out of fridge) Introducing Dannon Activia. The only yogurt specifically formulated with bifidus regularis to help improve bowel function in -

Mom: Sweetie, it's Mother's Day. I really don't -

Me: Let me finish, mom. So....Introducing Dannon Activia. The only yogurt specifically formulated with -

Mom: Who are you talking to, sweetie?

Me: MOM. Listen. This....this yogurt....it's loaded with bifidus regularis -

Mom: Bifidawhat, now?

Me: Bifidus regularis.

(long pause.)

Mom: What's that?

Me: It...it's....it makes....your bowels function...better. I guess. 87% of people say their bowels don't function properly. And Dannon Activia can...help.

Mom: Did you read that on the Facebook?

Me: No, mom. I don't know anything about Facebook -

Mom: I thought you were young and hip, hon. Oh, well. Sit down here and have some toast.

Me: But wouldn't you rather have some Dannon Activia yogurt with bifidus regularis to improve your bowel function?

Mom: I'm fine with toast and butter, sweetie. I don't really care for yogurt all that much.

(pause. Mom munches toast.)

Mom: Maybe you should lie down after breakfast, sugar.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 7:01 AM on May 10, 2008 [65 favorites]

wow, Regularis actually is latin. From Whitaker's:

regularis, regularis, regulare ADJ [XLXEO] uncommon
bar-, of/in a bar; formable into bars, ductile (L+S); [aes ~ => bar-copper];
canonical; regular, usual; containing a regimen; (royal);

I'm shocked, really.
posted by oddman at 7:15 AM on May 10, 2008

Wow, this was surprisingly funny. Though I can't believe she didn't mention the girl in the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini! I hate that girl a lot. Yogurt on the beach? What?
posted by unknowncommand at 7:29 AM on May 10, 2008

fuck. I have a grey hoodie, a master's degree, and I'm engaged to be married.

I guess I'm going yogurt shopping this afternoon.
posted by desjardins at 7:34 AM on May 10, 2008 [8 favorites]

It just occured to me that you don't see a whole lot of criticism of commercials on tv. More of that please.

Also, get her a job on the Daily Show.
posted by empath at 7:42 AM on May 10, 2008

Are the grey hoodie woman in the laundromat and the grey hoodie woman with the stainless steel fridge supposed to be the same? I'm slightly confused.
posted by fixedgear at 7:44 AM on May 10, 2008

"Yogurt: What else could a woman possibly need?"

*blinks*

That's it!!!!1!

*goes out to store, buys half a ton of yogurt, and smears it all over himself*

LADIES! COME AND GET IT!

*realizes he forgot to take all his clothes off first*

...damn.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:45 AM on May 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

Though I can't believe she didn't mention the girl in the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini! I hate that girl a lot.

Oh I hated that commercial. The girl was so obviously model-thin the whole time, just wearing bulky sweatshirts and maybe filling her cheeks up at the beginning. "See, she loathed herself, too! But it was okay by summer because of YOGURT."

I actively avoided refrigerated yogurt for a long time because of commercials like this. It wasn't until recently that I tried it again and realized that it was in fact good.

I go past all that to find a large tub of natural yoghurt preferably made from organic or bio-dynamic milk. Real yoghurt with real taste. If I want to add fruit I'll stew some myself. Occasionally I'll make the next few batches for myself using a tablespoon of the bought stuff as a starter.

I'm not that virtuous. I remember hating yogurt in the '80s because the fruit, for some reason, was always on the bottom and there just wasn't enough flavor to go around. It tasted like I was just flat-out being had. (Unless you got the "custard style" Dannon cups, but those weren't actually good for you. Mmm, I wonder if they still make those.)
posted by Countess Elena at 7:48 AM on May 10, 2008

Don't hate on Activia, it really does work and it's very tasty. The part about women over 40 just moving over the half rotisserie chicken and you'll see the Activia hit a little too close to home. I get it by the case at Costco.

Yo Plus is good but I'm still on the fence about the inulin fiber that it contains. The Fiber One yogurt is gross.
posted by shoesietart at 8:06 AM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

As per Michael Pollan, eat no food that makes a health claim on the packaging.
posted by Keith Talent at 8:19 AM on May 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm a grey hoodie wearing divorc¨¦e in the course of getting my Master's degree! I like Stonyfield drinkable yogurt, personally.

I went to Costco one day and had a six-pack of it in my cart. The lady in front of me in line (who was not wearing a grey hoodie, and thus was clearly not of our tribe) kept glaring at my car and half-opening her mouth. She did it several times. I thought maybe she was going to say something about my rotisserie chicken or my big box of Tide detergent.

No.

She turned around the fifth time and blurted out 'Yogurt gives you cancer, you know.'

I was baffled. I nodded politely and said, in that high-pitched talking-to-crazy-people voice, 'Really? How unfortunate!'

My patent disbelief made her angry, and she snarled, 'I'm just trying to let you know! The AMA covers up the truth!' and stalked off.

So watch out, yogurt consumers. The truth is out there.

this story is actually true. right down to the rotisserie chicken.
posted by winna at 8:43 AM on May 10, 2008 [10 favorites]

um, just a quick echo from those who mentioned it in passing. yogurt does actually help female fun pink bits and helps stave off itchy infections - it's a better association with the consumer than say some other things in commercials. also (thanks alton brown!) it helps with lactose intolerance and helps digestion (as long as they contain live active cultures) so... those yogurt commercials are actually pretty on target (no matter what latin terms they make up). good for my female bits? good for my digestion? i'm a woman and this sounds good to me (grey hoodie optional). oh! and yeah, it's a better snack for my body than other desired options.

that being said, i loathe the normal yogurt that lines the shelves of regular supermarkets. too sweet, too much syrup, too much eeeesh. i opt for the greek stuff (yum!)... and i thought this initial link was ... not funny.
posted by eatdonuts at 8:44 AM on May 10, 2008

Bifidus Regularis: Well, bifidus is correct, but regularis is just a made up name. Interesting that they use different made up names in different countries.
posted by ssg at 8:47 AM on May 10, 2008

Fun pink bits? You mean like, the lips?
posted by snoktruix at 8:58 AM on May 10, 2008

Bifidus Regularis ... is that real science? Is it even real Latin?

It's real Latin, which is a bonus these days, but it's no more or less "real" than any of the other subspecies names given by marketers to new products. In other words, yes, it's real, it exists, but it was created by marketers rather than scientists. I don't see the point of "just a made up name," since all commercial names are made up.
posted by languagehat at 9:19 AM on May 10, 2008

Actually, the greek stuff is a pale vestige of fresh homemade Indian curd made from buffalo milk. Mmmmm, 23g of fat per serving.
posted by DenOfSizer at 9:26 AM on May 10, 2008

I really, very dearly hate the "It's [generic female experience] good!" commercials.

I will eat nothing but yogurt for a year if they make one last commercial where a tiger breaks into a dayspa or something and eats those bitches.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:27 AM on May 10, 2008 [10 favorites]

Reminds me of those early-90s bran cereal ads where the guys in some generic office talked in coded language about how satisfying their bran-enabled shits were.
Sometimes bran cereal ads are not so subtle...
posted by Killick at 9:40 AM on May 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

I didn't get the fun in this. And it's yoghurt (first on the list = right).
posted by tellurian at 9:42 AM on May 10, 2008

Has anyone heard anything about the deceptive-advertising lawsuit that was filed in January? I see no new references to it on the Web.
posted by loiseau at 10:01 AM on May 10, 2008

I have a Master's. And I got married. And I eat yoghurt. But my hoodie is crimson, thank you very much.
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:01 AM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm single and have no degrees and I buy whatever yogurt doesn't have gelatin in it, a task which is becoming increasingly difficult in regular grocery stores.

I have numerous hoodies but I am skeptical of huge advertising campaigns.
posted by loiseau at 10:04 AM on May 10, 2008

Well, as I said above, I found this funny. But the main reason I liked the video was because it points out something that is obnoxious yet usually shrugged off: yogurt is marketed exclusively to women. There's nothing intrinsically feminine about yogurt. I think this piece nicely highlights the subtle (or not-so-subtle) stereotyping that exists in TV commercials--when you really examine it, it becomes utterly ridiculous.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:07 AM on May 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

I have two master's degrees, I am newly married, and my hoodie is a pale orange, sort of peachy.

I picked up Activia at the grocery store one day, clearly because I have been so aggressively targeted by advertising that I had not, until now, considered critically. Activia is very tasty and I enjoyed it, but given that I don't need the assistance of bifidus regularis and failed to catch on to what it was actually supposed to do to your bowel function, I was confused about the sudden changes I was experiencing in my regular water closet activities. That yellow arrow just flew right over my head. I wish the ad and the packaging had a big banner on it that said THIS STUFF MAKES YOU CRAP IN GREAT VOLUME AND FREQUENCY. BEWARE!

I don't eat Activia anymore.
posted by Hildegarde at 10:14 AM on May 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

I first heard the praises of eating yogurt as the way to restore digestive function for those taking antibiotics which had killed all the necessary bacteria. But I do not have a gray hoodie although I do have a blue rain coat hoodie and a coral knit hoodie with matching uh, is this a derail?
posted by Cranberry at 10:22 AM on May 10, 2008

Agreeing with languagehat: Bifidus regularis, as a separate unique entity, was unknown to science until Dannon trademarked it.
posted by 517 at 10:46 AM on May 10, 2008

I'd already noticed the high oestrogen content of those yogurt ads. Activia, of course, is a particularly bad case of it, because it combines two product categories especially targeted at females (yogurt and...uhm..."bowel function enhancers") in a single package. I swear that you could change the voiceovers, and what the women in the ads hold in their hands, and you could use the same ads to sell tampons or the Pill.

Now, why do women in Marketing-land obsess so much about their bowels? So much more than their male counterparts, anyway? Do women's guts have to take some detours to get around the Fallopian tubes, or something? Or are they just trying to convince gullible, weight-obsessed women that they are going to get thinner by crapping their guts out?
posted by Skeptic at 10:51 AM on May 10, 2008

I have a master's and a Ph.D. and gray hoodies make me look like a rhinoceros, because I'm the age that's REALLY being targeted by that yogurt. So I take fiber in little capsules and I eat as many raisins as my grandmother did, and I buy 365 skim milk yogurt by the tub because I love to eat. I dunno about younger women, but older women don't obsess about their bowels nearly as much as you'd think, considering at some point in their lives their digestive systems decide to fossilize abruptly. I mean, WHAM. Menopause did it to me--and I'm an active athlete with a high-fiber diet.

Feh.
posted by Peach at 11:06 AM on May 10, 2008

I have a half eaten rotisserie chicken in my fridge right now. But MY yogurt is awesome organic something vanilla something and not Activia. And my hoodie is black, and my Master's in (a very long) process. My individualism stands firm!
posted by jokeefe at 11:18 AM on May 10, 2008

I do buy this expensive 12-grain organic high-fibre bread though. It's, like, 5 bucks a loaf and worth it. It's like eating gold leaf, or something.
posted by jokeefe at 11:19 AM on May 10, 2008

But I am single. And I loathe the pedicures-chocolate-is-better-than-sex-ooooh-shoes! bullshit kind of supposedly female common denominator media caricatures. It's like being stuck in an endless Cathy comic.
posted by jokeefe at 11:23 AM on May 10, 2008 [9 favorites]

Agreeing with languagehat: Bifidus regularis, as a separate unique entity, was unknown to science until Dannon trademarked it.

Am I the only one who hit Wikipedia? Apparently the actual scientific name is "Bifidobacterium animalis subsp. animalis, strain DN-173 010"
posted by delmoi at 11:30 AM on May 10, 2008

Screw Activia. Drink this, cos it is delicious:

Cardamom Lassie
* 1 quart plain yogurt
* Sugar to taste (start with maybe 6 tablespoons)
* 1 teaspoon ground cardamom

Spoon the yogurt into a blender. Add 6 tbls. of the sugar to the yogurt. Add cardamom and blend until the yogurt mixture is smooth and frothy. Add up to 2 more tbls. of sugar if you want a sweeter drink. Pour into tall galsses and serve cold.

I am not a woman, have no masters', and my hoodie is brown.
posted by everichon at 11:45 AM on May 10, 2008 [6 favorites]

Jamie Lee Curtis isn't a woman, silly.

Snopes Status: Undetermined

Vaguely unsettling, that.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:56 AM on May 10, 2008

I really want to see this, but there is nothing on the page when I click on that link.
posted by sweetkid at 11:57 AM on May 10, 2008

I knew I had phrased my sentence poorly about 1 second after posting it.
posted by 517 at 12:00 PM on May 10, 2008

At what point did yogurt become pudding and plain yogurt with some fruit on the bottom became nearly impossible to find outside of the occasional "health food" store? At this point I pack my own plain yogurt with some frozen berries thrown in. /grey hoodie
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 12:04 PM on May 10, 2008

Bifidus Regularis ... is that real science? Is it even real Latin?

It's real Latin, which is a bonus these days, but it's no more or less "real" than any of the other subspecies names given by marketers to new products. In other words, yes, it's real, it exists, but it was created by marketers rather than scientists. I don't see the point of "just a made up name," since all commercial names are made up.

See also:

Angus Beef
Langastino lobster
posted by sourwookie at 12:08 PM on May 10, 2008

New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt
posted by squarehead at 12:11 PM on May 10, 2008

I hate these commercials. I liked the link.

Any yogurt that puts 34 grams (7+ teaspoons) (Activia) in an 8 ounce container has just forfeited any legitimate claim to health benefits.

Fruity yogurt is dessert that doesn't taste as good as a real dessert.
posted by small_ruminant at 12:18 PM on May 10, 2008

I was buying soem yogurt (yoghurt, whatever) at the grocery store the other day. It was a greek variety, similar to Fage. The lady bagging my groceries looked at it dumbfounded and asked me what it was. I told it it's greek yogurt, it's much richer and thicker than other yogurts. She made a face at that and said she wouldn't like it then, she likes the yogurts that are more liquidy.

I'm still not sure why she felt the need to comment on my damned yogurt. And greek style yogurt is much superior to yoplait and similar garbage. Hey, it's actually like a good, wow!
posted by Talanvor at 12:49 PM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Dammit, I hate it when my vitirol gets in the way of typing. I meant to say it's like a food, not a good. Maybe good food would be better? Uh oh, I can't stop editing my thoughts now. I better go eat some yogurt, flush them out.
posted by Talanvor at 12:51 PM on May 10, 2008

If you're looking to replace intestinal flora after antibiotics (or a weekend of drinking, your choice) Activia doesn't hold a candle to Bio-K. Of course, Bio-K is spensive but... effective at balancing out your BMs. Not too often, not too rare.

Thanks to Fage I discovered plain yogurt + honey -- something you can totally adjust to taste and way better than any kind of stewed preserved fruit you can find.

Now I just buy the big Fage plain and some local (preferably raw) honey if I can.
posted by abulafa at 1:27 PM on May 10, 2008

Great video.

The only flavor of yogurt I ever really got into was vanilla. I guess I'd like it more if I were a woman?
posted by danb at 2:07 PM on May 10, 2008

why can't i see the video? I have a mac running firefox? it's not telling me to install anything. help, I want to laugh about yogurt too.
posted by sweetkid at 2:14 PM on May 10, 2008

greek style yogurt is much superior to yoplait and similar garbage

I had no interest in yogurt (having experienced only the processed kind) until I went to Greece and discovered the joys of real yogurt. If Fage were cheaper, I'd buy it regularly, but alas, it's pretty pricey.
posted by languagehat at 2:26 PM on May 10, 2008

It's like being stuck in an endless Cathy comic.

Jokeefe has articulated it perfectly! That's why I hate these stupid ads.

And I must add my voice to the chorus of those praising Greek yogurt. It is the best.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:38 PM on May 10, 2008

Keith Talent, I was looking for that quote, as it needs to go in this thread.
posted by nax at 3:01 PM on May 10, 2008

And while we're at it, there is no reason to buy any flavor of yogurt. Just buy plain and put anything you fancy into it! I personally am addicted to an Indian buffalo curd/salsa/cottage cheese/cilantro mix. Sounds weird, but it totally works. Plus have we talked about how awesome it is to cook with? Better than sour cream, but more quotidian than creme fraiche.

All this has nothing to do with the fact that I need calcium. Yogurt's awesome!
posted by DenOfSizer at 3:30 PM on May 10, 2008

I have never thought to ask this, but is 'regularity' actually a problem for older ladies, since all the lady commericals are about fiber? Or is it, like Certs with retsin, just a gimmick?

You can take some of that greek yogurt, chop up a lot of cucumbers and cilantro, get some tomatoes and throw them in as well and it's a delicious cooling salady snack for summer. If you pack the yogurt separately from the other stuff it's great for lunch at work.
posted by winna at 4:15 PM on May 10, 2008

When I lived in Queens, the most delicious yoghurt in the world was a thirty-minute walk from my house: Kesso Foods (or something like that), in Elmhurst. My god, it's delicious. My mom had a standing order: every time I visited her, I was expected to bring her a few containers of it, and at least one container of their fig syrup.

If anybody knows of a store like that in Seattle, please tell me.

(Despite my love of yoghurt, and my femaleness, I care not one whit for shoes. And I don't talk about yoghurt this way in face-to-face conversations.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:38 PM on May 10, 2008

languagehat: "It's real Latin, which is a bonus these days, but it's no more or less "real" than any of the other subspecies names given by marketers to new products. In other words, yes, it's real, it exists, but it was created by marketers rather than scientists. I don't see the point of "just a made up name," since all commercial names are made up."

We aren't talking about a subspecies, but a particular strain of a subspecies. Bifidus regularis isn't a name for a particular strain, nor a subspecies, but a species. Given that there already exists a naming system for particular strains, I think it is much more "made up" than commercial names in general.
posted by ssg at 4:48 PM on May 10, 2008

This plus this equals this.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:05 PM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

I have a lowly B.A., but yogurt and cheese are my only sources of calcium, and the yogurt is my saviour against yeast infections. And no-name brands seem often to be gelatin-free, which is the only way I'll eat it. Also, I last owned a hoodie in the 1960s.
posted by fish tick at 5:51 PM on May 10, 2008

Damn. Grey hoodie. Masters. Married. Activa in the fridge. And -- I thought -- X and Y chromosomes.
posted by ~ at 6:18 PM on May 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

I have never thought to ask this, but is 'regularity' actually a problem for older ladies, since all the lady commericals are about fiber?

As I said earlier, yes, durnit. I did NOT expect to have that particular problem.
posted by Peach at 7:07 PM on May 10, 2008

There's nothing intrinsically feminine about yogurt.

Sure, guys can eat yogurt. If they don't mind looking like fags. (I kid, I kid. I like good rich yogurt. But then, I'm a fag.)
posted by Nelson at 7:12 PM on May 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

As I said earlier, yes, durnit. I did NOT expect to have that particular problem.

This is not happy news for me. I quite like not worrying about my innards.

~, I think the grey hoodie yogurt culture embraces all chromosome types! We will defy gender norms in our love of cultured milk products!
posted by winna at 7:51 PM on May 10, 2008

I eat yogurt with nuts and dried fruit every day for breakfast. Yummiest food ever.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:54 PM on May 10, 2008

I was actually in the middle of eating a container of Activa yogurt when I clicked this link.

No shit?
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 8:38 PM on May 10, 2008 [4 favorites]

There's nothing intrinsically feminine about yogurt.

That's particularly true of tadpole yogurt.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:34 PM on May 10, 2008

Since I don't have a master's degree, grey hoodie, or a second X chromosome, I'm not the yoghurteers target market, but Activia has pretty much ruined buying grocery store yoghurt for me. I don't want to think about poop when I'm buying or eating my food. As much as I hate to allow myself to be influenced by marketing, I really want some of that Texas-style yoghurt from the Onion link above. If that was in the dairy case with the Activia, I could think manly, non-poop-related thoughts, and still buy my yoghurt.

Since I can't get suitably manly yoghurt, though, does anybody know where I can get FAGE in Utah? Their website wasn't very specific.
posted by rossmik at 12:51 AM on May 11, 2008

Clearly there is not enough Screen Burn or TV Burp style programming in the US.
posted by asok at 3:05 AM on May 11, 2008

I eat yogurt, make tons of it myself, and would love to avail myself of some of that ass bacteria. But they don't make an ass yogurt without sugar and flavoring in it that I could use as a starter. So they can bite me.

Married, no masters, and lots of hoodies, some gray, but they're proper Champion hoodies, not that thin girly kind.

Sweetkid: do you have AdBlockPlus installed? Try scrolling the page so that the video window just touches the top of the window and it may appear. PITA but they don't seem interested in fixing it.
posted by bink at 4:37 AM on May 11, 2008

if we're adding data points: not married, masters, coupla hoodies.

quite a fan of goat's milk yoghurt, ayran, indian-style curd, and any yoghurt that actually contains live cultures.

the best thing about real yoghurt - as others have mentioned - is that a spoonful in a thermos of milk, kept at room temperature for a day or two gives you a fresh new batch. it's the gift that keeps on giving!
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:10 AM on May 11, 2008

DenOfSizer: "...there is no reason to buy any flavor of yogurt..."

Of course there's a reason: laziness. I'd rather pay to have someone else put the fruit in for me.

Male. Divorced. No masters degree. No hoodie. Fortunately, they don't make commercials for my demographic, cuz my demographic knows all commercials lie. I buy the cheapest storebrand yogurt, and even then only when it's like five for a dollar, which is less often than it used to be. I like yogurt, but not enough to watch a thirty second commercial.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:24 AM on May 11, 2008

Once, I was in line at the grocery store behind a man buying vast quantities of prune-flavored Activia (and nothing else). I wondered exactly how long he had been constipated.
posted by candyland at 8:56 AM on May 11, 2008

I will eat nothing but yogurt for a year if they make one last commercial where a tiger breaks into a dayspa or something and eats those bitches.
I will eat nothing but yogurt for a year if they make one last commercial where all the "it's generic female experience good" were all vaguely misogynistic.
"It's glass ceiling good"
"It's being seen and not heard good"
"It's subservience good"

Mayor Curley's tiger is welcome to make an appearance as well.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 8:53 PM on May 11, 2008 [3 favorites]

I am working on my Master's thesis and wearing a grey hoodie right now.

I don't buy single-serving yogurts though, too wasteful and expensive.
posted by SoftRain at 12:19 PM on May 12, 2008

For me, it's all about the nonfat greek-style yogurt in the large containers.

Sometimes, I add powdered onion, garlic, joes stuff, chopped dill, lemon, and/or flavored boullion and use it as a low cal dip, especially with artichokes... or sometimes I mix it with ribena concentrate, trail mix, blueberries, etc. for a snack...

...or sometimes, I take a few cups of yogurt and add in a can of my favorite lemon sardines. It's a great, easy, lowfat alternative to tuna salad, and frankly, tastes better and is much better for you.
posted by markkraft at 3:21 AM on May 15, 2008