Comments on: "The Christmas display has been changed to feature no anal sex"

"The Christmas display has been changed to feature no anal sex"

Wordshore — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 15:50:28 -0800

Less than five weeks to Christmas Day! How's it going in the UK? Polar bears are enjoying themselves, unlike viewers of the Swansea Christmas parade (especially drivers), or a preacher in Grimsby. John Lewis advertises Twitter and the other John Lewis hawks pianos that are undercut by Lidl and stollen. Heathrow is oddly quiet, rude elf, and this cheese toastie looks a bit meaty. Other food? Pizza fingers in school, or chocolate turkey with Marmite sprouts - though chicken > turkey. Fashion? Men buy jumpers and beard lights while women buy wreaths. Seasonal coffee? Um, maybe not. You can sort-of get a tree for five quid, or very un-English instant gratification, or teacher something pricey. Or buy a Spanish village through Goop - though Sweden's gift is more sensible.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 16:20:01 -0800

Christmas is a silly place.

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 16:37:14 -0800

Weirdly not seeing any reports this year (so far) of extremely dodgy "Winter Wonderland" places in the UK. The kind of attraction which charges twenty pounds a head and promises snow and forests and elves and herds of reindeer and a myriad of tents offering finest seasonal foods, but turns out to be - after you have paid your twenty quid - a muddy car park with a bad-tempered bloke in a cheap elf costume and a gazebo selling out of date Cadbury chocolate. Has this most traditional of English Christmas events - complete with "outraged" customers venting in local newspaper articles - now ceased to be?

By: krisjohn

krisjohn — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:12:48 -0800

By: Homo neanderthalensis

Homo neanderthalensis — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:21:18 -0800

Well. At least the bears weren't in a hedge.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:30:45 -0800

Other villages for sale. Some real fixer-upper opportunities here, tell you what.

By: 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a

922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:38:28 -0800

I mean do any of them have a rapid transit coaster?

By: greermahoney

greermahoney — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:49:16 -0800

Um... from the first article, do the folks quoted in it think that bears usually do it missionary style?

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 18:16:15 -0800

Late addition - the Sainsbury ad, with a school Christmas play that is pretty...ornate.

By: mandolin conspiracy

mandolin conspiracy — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 18:28:18 -0800

Or buy a Spanish village through Goop So, about that: "Since Galicians seem to be riding into extinction, the future may well rest in the hands of wealthy foreigners wishing to live life as it may have been in medieval times. A time Galicia has never really left behind, if I am honest with you." In true Goop style it will turn out to be medieval in the sense that it will be infested with people who have tetanus, whooping cough, chicken pox, influenza, polio, measles, mumps, and rubella because vaccination hasn't been invented yet.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 18:31:32 -0800

Um... from the first article, do the folks quoted in it think that bears usually do it missionary style? More to the point, neither seemed to be enjoying much of anything. Those are blasé bears...

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 22:09:06 -0800

I'm not seeing anything on social media (yet) about how wonky the Christmas tree is here in this East Midlands town; there's a definite angle to it. On the plus side, it's taller than the one in Morpeth.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 23:57:00 -0800

He's behind you!

By: kersplunk

kersplunk — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 00:36:15 -0800

Having a wife from Wales, and having visited Swansea reasonably recently, the 3-float Swansea xmas parade doesn't surprise me at all. The place is dying. It's all depression and mobility scooters. And it needs a damn good wash. That's a shame. I've been a big fan of Swansea City's fairytale ascent from the fourth tier to European football (although they were relegated this year), their sexy football under Brendan Rogers and Michael Laudrup, the role supporters have in the running of their club, and their excellent crest.

By: winterhill

winterhill — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 02:26:12 -0800

The kind of attraction which charges twenty pounds a head and promises snow and forests and elves and herds of reindeer and a myriad of tents offering finest seasonal foods, but turns out to be - after you have paid your twenty quid - a muddy car park with a bad-tempered bloke in a cheap elf costume and a gazebo selling out of date Cadbury chocolate.

Is this the new Brexit thread?

By: shapes that haunt the dusk

shapes that haunt the dusk — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 03:07:41 -0800

Um... from the first article, do the folks quoted in it think that bears usually do it missionary style? I think it's the way the bear in the rear is kind of fully upright. Like, I know bears do it from behind (there's a bumper sticker for you), but I can't imagine they position themselves quite like that: upright, shoulders back, hips forward. There's something hilariously human about that particular stance. Or I still have a fever from my recent bout of illness and am not thinking clearly.

By: rory

rory — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 04:46:50 -0800

Asda's advert opens with Father Christmas firing a Christmas pud cannon. Doubles as a WW1 centenary piece.

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 06:59:31 -0800

The 'story' doing the rounds that The Royal Family weigh themselves before and after eating Christmas Day foods is sort-of true. True in that, technically, some of them optionally do it. But they don't take it seriously and, along with charades (and when the weather is good, croquet) it's treated like a game or for fun e.g. putting on several layers of heavy clothes at the first weigh in, and wearing just light clothes at the second. That doesn't make for such a dramatic headline though. It'll probably be a full turn-out of the entire main family this year, as the chances of both The Queen and Prince Philip being alive/around to celebrate Christmas in 2019 are ... not good.

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 07:37:59 -0800

These are grizzlies (I think) and not polar bears, but I would say it's a pretty good indication of how bears do it.

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 08:27:18 -0800

Metro: "Kate, 27, said: 'We went past and saw the reindeer. It was singing Frosty the Snowman. Then it went a bit funny. 'I said to my friend 'I swear it said Frosty The Pervert'. Then I thought I heard it say 'dick'. I thought 'that's a bit inappropriate'. 'The song is about Frosty the Snowman going into a playground and exposing himself in front of children."

By: Huffy Puffy

Huffy Puffy — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 08:44:00 -0800

The 'story' doing the rounds that The Royal Family weigh themselves before and after eating Christmas Day foods is sort-of true. Well, Edward VII was certainly renowned for his trim figure and healthy lifestyle, so the tradition checks out from that end.

By: lumpenprole

lumpenprole — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 09:29:11 -0800

No anal sex? This war on Christmas has gone too far, say I!

By: halation

halation — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 09:56:17 -0800

Oh lord, this thread reminds me that I found myself at a Winners/HomeSense yesterday and they had Pongseccco kits shoved in amongst all the glitter-shedding snowflake tablescapes and themed ramekin sets and tins of terrifying 'seasonal' flavoured hot chocolate mix. The great UK holiday scourge has made its way across the Atlantic and onto our shores.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 11:12:08 -0800

I am really enjoying these links, but some of these websites are behaving in a hella dicey way. I'm not allowed to quote from the teabagging elf website? WTF? (Also, don't click on the vibrator article advertised on the side of the Pink News article, because hooooo boy did I have drama with my computer for an hour after that.)

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 11:39:49 -0800

* Donuts for Nessie. * The Great Fence of Worcester. * Parents are 'disgusted'. * ...and the most traditional of English Christmas traditions.

By: winterhill

winterhill — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 00:31:54 -0800

I am really enjoying these links, but some of these websites are behaving in a hella dicey way. I'm not allowed to quote from the teabagging elf website? WTF?

Welcome to the British regional media, best enjoyed with JavaScript turned off.

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 00:55:28 -0800

Welcome to the British regional media, best enjoyed with JavaScript turned off. Quite. Many - not a few but many - local newspaper websites in the UK are terrible, and some potential links were omitted because of the sheer array of things - auto-playing videos, ads, pop-up notices, survey requests, a multitude of trackers - that greet the reader immediately on entering the website (and some of the included links were borderline for these reasons). Adding the proportion of US media websites which now default to "Oh, you're in Europe - no content for you!" and it's significantly more difficult to do this kind of round-up or themed post than it was a year ago. I've abandoned several such posts these last few months because of these reasons. Anyway, to balance off this mini-rant, here is a nice tree.

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 11:13:59 -0800

Aldi Kevin the Carrot toys spark mayhem with fights and 'crushing' in queues

By: winterhill

winterhill — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 11:42:32 -0800

Aldi Kevin the Carrot toys spark mayhem with fights and 'crushing' in queues

I'm glad I went to Lidl for the shop today, I almost went to Aldi. I had no idea about that and it would have really fucked my day up if I'd gone to Aldi and been greeted with that mess.

By: lucidium

lucidium — Fri, 23 Nov 2018 05:17:58 -0800

How's everyone finding the weird christmas crisps flavours?