Comments on: Thirsty koala

Thirsty koala

Cat Pie Hurts — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:19:01 -0800

By: tavella

tavella — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:26:41 -0800

I don't think I would have gotten my nose so close to a koala. I know they aren't very aggressive, but they can be grumpy and take a swipe when they feel threatened. But darn cute.

By: nevercalm

nevercalm — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:33:27 -0800

I just keep trying to picture an analog here in the US, of a wild animal that is that cute and that size and that semi-docile. Possums are ugly and nasty and that size, raccoons are adorable but they're mean bastards much of the time...I just kept expecting the koala to suddenly jump and tear his face off. Also, isn't extreme thirst a sign of rabies?

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:35:35 -0800

It is also a sign of an Australian summer in which it hasn't rained and it's been 110+ for months at a time.

By: Sticherbeast

Sticherbeast — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:36:00 -0800

Also, isn't extreme thirst a sign of rabies? Rabies has never been reported in Australia, I think?

By: sweetkid

sweetkid — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:36:15 -0800

Yea I got close to a koala at an animal park in Australia but a backyard? I'd want nowhere near those claws.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:36:18 -0800

Also I think Australia doesn't have rabies? By some magical power?

By: Sticherbeast

Sticherbeast — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:39:08 -0800

Also I think Australia doesn't have rabies? By some magical power? Rabies is scared of the spiders.

By: sweetkid

sweetkid — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:41:04 -0800

I just googled Rabies Australia and apparently it just arrived there this year via bats.

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:47:14 -0800

obligatory

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:48:59 -0800

Aww, the koala just wanted to take a nap behind the couch. Must have belonged to someone down the street, some kid is probably crying their eyes out looking for their koala.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 14:54:01 -0800

DOES IT EVER BLINK!?

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:13:47 -0800

DOES IT EVER BLINK!? Of course not. He's flabbergasted by what he's seeing. "Dude, I gotta spend all day chewing the poisonous leaves of a flammable tree in boiling temperatures and you got a whole fancy cave thing with air conditioning and running water? Dude. Dude. You have pillows!?"

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:13:47 -0800

DOES IT EVER BLINK!? OH OKAY SO apparently this is a little-known fact about koalas? You know how some kinds of birds and moths and butterflies have big black dots on their wings that make them look like a larger animal with a big face? It seems that koalas have that kind of natural protection too and those things on its "face" that look like "eyes" are really just to distract its prey and confuse its predators.

By: sweetkid

sweetkid — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:22:48 -0800

Wow you know a lot about koalas elizardbits I had no idea.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:27:24 -0800

You guys are so gullible. Koalas don't even exist. I've seen cats dogs, all kinds of birds, and even horses but I've never seen someone walking a koala or seen on in the pet store.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:46:36 -0800

That is actually a rare koala spider, a spider that has evolved to look like a koala to take advantage of our attraction to koalas. That sound is not the koala spider drinking water but sucking juices through the man's anesthetized hand. His thirst for beer is driven by this loss of fluids. Nature is wonderful in Australia. Wonderful and horrid.

By: martinrebas

martinrebas — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:47:54 -0800

I've never seen someone walking a koala or seen on in the pet store. That doesn't prove anything, because all animals don't come from pet stores. Some are also found in holes in the ground or hiding behind small books. I know this, I have worked as an animal knowledge person at a place thing.

By: eddydamascene

eddydamascene — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:51:35 -0800

Also, isn't extreme thirst a sign of rabies? Maddening, unquenchable thirst coupled with inability to swallow and panic when faced with drink. Sometimes called hydrophobia. *the more you know, shooting star, jingle*

By: panboi

panboi — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:54:55 -0800

Koalas are interesting animals. They lay eggs, have a fear of hats and have been known to build little boats out of eucalyptus leaves during the rainy season.

By: sidereal

sidereal — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 15:59:21 -0800

It seems that koalas have that kind of natural protection too and those things on its "face" that look like "eyes" are really just to distract its prey and confuse its predators. This is true; you are in fact looking at its ass. Nature is awesome.

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:05:48 -0800

or hiding behind small books So there may be koalas hiding in my apartment right now? I am ok as long as I don't look into their butt eyes right and get confused right?

By: eddydamascene

eddydamascene — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:15:45 -0800

Nature is awesome. Nature is terrible. Koalas get AIDS. There is literally an epidemic of koala AIDS.

By: lesbiassparrow

lesbiassparrow — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:18:27 -0800

Having koalas and wombats seems like a pretty good trade off for poisonous spiders and living in the fiery furnace of hell.

By: lesbiassparrow

lesbiassparrow — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:20:30 -0800

Aargh and now I find out fron eddydamascene that ALL THE KOALAS MAY DIE.

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:21:10 -0800

Koala Immune Deficiency Syndrome (KIDS) Damn. Even the cause of their impending extinction is cute.

By: sidereal

sidereal — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:24:19 -0800

this was such a nice party

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:34:51 -0800

Koalas apparently sound like hell demons when annoyed: Crazy Koala fight.

By: gingerest

gingerest — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 16:41:48 -0800

Actually, koalas are more under threat from their species-specific chylamydia than from KIDS, and habitat loss is the worst threat of all. No, there's no rabies in Australia or New Zealand, partly because there are stringent guidelines about pet importation and the occasional imported human case. Mostly because the Antipodes are the hell and gone in the middle of the ocean and the small rodents which cheerfully ignore those guidelines rarely have rabies, at least not in the timeline to come schlepping over in a cargo ship while still contagious but not yet dead. It's likely just a matter of time, though, because the nearest Indonesian islands now have cases (as well as poor marine export security (an issue for illegal shipping of people, much less small animals)). Australia does have its very own bat lyssavirus, transmissible to humans, that killed a little kid just last summer. Koalas can give you scabies. That's about it. Here is a fun list of zoonoses so you can worry more specifically after you decide to snoogle the wild animals.

By: nevercalm

nevercalm — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:08:28 -0800

Koalas apparently sound like hell demons when annoyed. I....was not prepared for that.

By: orme

orme — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:12:31 -0800

Koalas apparently sound like hell demons when annoyed. Also not prepared. It went from "Oh what a cute little squeak they make." to "Fuck! Drop the camera and RUN!" in no time.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:14:18 -0800

HAHA I am going to hide behind the backyard fence at make that noise at drunk dudebros in the dead of night fuck i need a video camera

By: Ad hominem

Ad hominem — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:20:03 -0800

How the fuck does one animal make that range of noises. It went from screeching to gurgles from the pits of hell.

By: Old Timer

Old Timer — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:22:31 -0800

Koalas drink water very rarely: they obtain almost all of their moisture needs from the eucalyptus leaves they ingest. Koalas do drink water, but very rarely, and usually only in extreme stress, such as during heatwaves. "per Wiki Answers

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:26:02 -0800

How the fuck does one animal make that range of noises. It went from screeching to gurgles from the pits of hell. What is little understood is that Eucalyptus trees are, in fact, Hell. Each leaf is the soul of a damned person, condemned to be eaten by koalas and digested, painfully, then regrown, for all eternity. When threatened, koalas release the cries of the damned to frighten off attackers, especially koala spiders (the apparent "bitey koala" in that video). Koala spiders are deathly afraid of damned souls. As they very well should be.

By: Joe in Australia

Joe in Australia — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:28:55 -0800

When I was younger I used to hear this noise every night: EHEHEHEHEHE-HUM! EHEHEHEHEHE-HUM! HUM! HUM! EHE-HUM! Every night, around 11 PM. It sounded just like somebody revving a motorcycle, over and over. But why would they do that? And why do it at night? So I gradually developed an intricate story to explain the noise. It obviously came from a neighbour who was restoring a motorbike. And when he was testing the engine he needed to rev it. But why was he doing it at night? Well, he must be a shift worker, and this was the only time he had free. So I had this whole story worked out, including the model (a Triumph Speed Twin) and the job (a metalworker, just because). Then I read about possums and the noises they make when they're being territorial. EHE-HUM! EHE-HUM. Hmm. So one night I got a torch ("flashlight") ready and waited for the EHE-HUMs to start. Waited ... waited ... and there it came! I leapt out of bed, ran to the side door, flung it open - and there was a huge brushtail possum, its eyes shining at me, going HUMM! HUMM! outside my window. I was satisfied so beat a retreat and went to bed. It still kept me up, but it didn't bother me as much.

By: orme

orme — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 17:58:56 -0800

What sort of deal do koalas have worked out with the other, deadly animals of Australia, that allows these things to even exist?

By: raihan_

raihan_ — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 18:25:27 -0800

gonna call my next black metal band "koala"

By: Seymour Zamboni

Seymour Zamboni — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 18:55:38 -0800

What sort of deal do koalas have worked out with the other, deadly animals of Australia, that allows these things to even exist? If you don't bite me I promise to not unleash my demonic scream from hell that will surely send you back into the dark hole you call home wishing that you had stronger venom.

By: Georgina

Georgina — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 18:55:59 -0800

When the woman handed the man the glass, my first thought was, "OH GOD DON'T GIVE THE KOALA BEER." Yes, I am Australian.

By: sweetkid

sweetkid — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 18:56:50 -0800

do we not feed them after midnight or let them get wet as well

By: Ducks or monkeys

Ducks or monkeys — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 20:44:12 -0800

This thread has taught me more about koalas than I would have thought possible. I can't wait to impress my friends and coworkers with my new koala knowledge.

By: sweetkid

sweetkid — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 20:58:45 -0800

Some of the facts revealed here are secret... Like the disguises and magic and they are safely guarded. I am not sure you have the koalifications to share them.

By: Metro Gnome

Metro Gnome — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 22:36:52 -0800

When the woman handed the man the glass, my first thought was, "OH GOD DON'T GIVE THE KOALA BEER." Yeah, in the first "Thirsty" link, sure the koala was lapping at the water for a bit, but then the dude downed his beer in less time, and I thought "who's the thirsty one?" That Crazy Koala Fight was awesome. I, too, thought that squeak at the beginning was not what I'd call a hell demon, but then all of a sudden wtf.

By: asok

asok — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 03:16:10 -0800

How the fuck does one animal make that range of noises. It went from screeching to gurgles from the pits of hell. Because they have a extending vocal tract which allows them to look like this but sound like this.

By: asok

asok — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 03:43:05 -0800

Koalas fall out of trees quite often, and these trees can be over 100' tall. Luckily they have tiny brains, 40% of their skull cavity being filled with fluid, so they just lie there until they get their breath back an climb back up to resume sleeping/eating.

By: moody cow

moody cow — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 05:13:03 -0800

No, I'm sorry but I think you are confusing Koalas with Dropbears.

By: AlienGrace

AlienGrace — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 05:18:15 -0800

I was worried it was a drop bear but then realised that the people in the video are Australians so they would have been fine anyway.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 05:31:35 -0800

Because they have a extending vocal tract Koalas and Red Deer! You may have evolved a descended larynx in an effort to become more human, but I suggest you stop right there. Yes, the problems of predation and reduced ecosystem are pressing, but further human-ward development will just make you more aware of the forces of capitalism. I promise you, it's not worth it.

By: jammy

jammy — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 05:38:03 -0800

"I do not like koalas. They are nasty, cross, stupid creatures without a friendly bone in their bodies. Their social habits are appalling - the males are always beating their fellows up and stealing their females. They have disgusting defensive mechanisms. Lice infest their fur. They snore. Their resemblance to cuddly toys is a base deceit. There is nothing to commend them. On top of all that, a koala once tried to do me a very nasty mischief."

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 05:54:25 -0800

koala knowledge. koaledge.

By: Joe in Australia

Joe in Australia — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 06:17:41 -0800

Oh lord. Jammy's link. Oh my goodness.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 06:39:56 -0800

juv3nal: "obligatory" Metafilter: there will be more room for the panthers and all the other hard animals.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 07:16:29 -0800

I am not sure you have the koalifications oh no you did NOT

By: leslies

leslies — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 17:07:34 -0800

That link of jammy's is painfully funny.

By: vegartanipla

vegartanipla — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 17:52:25 -0800

This is now my favorite thread.