Comments on: Glocal et al

Glocal et al

Wordshore — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:33:01 -0800

Actual things that came out of human mouths at day one of Techcrunch's Disrupt SF Conference. (New York magazine)

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:34:20 -0800

Ah. Phrases. I was really hoping it was going to be photos of larvae.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:35:13 -0800

/gets as far as "global" NUKE IT FROM ORBIT!

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:36:05 -0800

"Now, let's talk about disrupting the disruptors." Uh, I think this one is supposed to be in the "Conversations between Doctor Doom and MODOK" article. "Can you talk about getting conceptual liftoff?" It's on iTunes now. You can find it in the discography between Moving Pictures and Signals.

By: smirkette

smirkette — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:37:39 -0800

It's funny; I've seen very little actual innovation at "innovation in _____" un/conferences. The catchphraseology is breathtaking, however.

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:38:07 -0800

We don't measure our success by financial results Nothing wrong with this as a phrase (as opposed to "glocal" which doesn't even). I can definitely imagine myself being annoyed by it depending on whose mouth emitted it, though.

By: Zed

Zed — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:38:11 -0800

"We don't measure our success by financial results." This one could be a good thing. But, more likely, it was just excuse-making.

By: downing street memo

downing street memo — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:39:04 -0800

While certainly not defending these hideous abuses of the English language, I do think it's funny that a community that loves academic jargon so much slags off on business jargon whenever it can.

By: rocket88

rocket88 — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:40:09 -0800

Needs more enterprise solutions.

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:41:30 -0800

That's not business jargon. Business jargon is things like "APR" or "return-on-investment". This is the conversational equivalent of "SEX! now that i have your attention." No meaning is supposed to be imparted by these words, they are only there to make you pay attention long enough that the droid can pat you down for investment dollars.

By: Pruitt-Igoe

Pruitt-Igoe — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:42:05 -0800

Could be because I understand most of these terms, but this is pretty weak. "Looks like it's searching for a use case." As a software developer I say "use case" all the time. It isn't empty business jargon. "Plat-Ag" is funny, though.

By: RobotVoodooPower

RobotVoodooPower — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:45:54 -0800

One word for you. Are you listening? CYBERSPACE.

By: Dr. Twist

Dr. Twist — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:47:39 -0800

I can't wait to see the breathless coverage of these luminaries on BoingBoing

By: mcstayinskool

mcstayinskool — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:48:07 -0800

I would hire any one of these people for an AaaS* solution * asshole as a service

By: feckless

feckless — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:48:27 -0800

"Looks like it's searching for a use case" stands out because it's a critical statement, not a hype-ey or excuse-ey one. Plat-Ag, on the other hand, is clearly jargon from the 25th century, meaning Agricultural Planet (like Plat-Ind for industrial planet, Plat-Gov, and of course, the infamous Plat-XXX). So there was at least one time-traveler at the event.

By: downing street memo

downing street memo — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:50:45 -0800

No meaning is supposed to be imparted by these words There is meaning, it's just complex and could be better-stated.

By: davejay

davejay — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:50:48 -0800

Phrases from this list that are used regularly where I work, and have a legitimate meaning: - go-to-market strategy - iterating - use case So yeah, this is pretty weak, Plat-Ag aside (platform-agnostic is a legitimate term, but if your abbreviation doesn't roll off the tongue, it isn't real.)

By: mangasm

mangasm — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:52:04 -0800

"Glocal" sounds like a Dr. Seuss character.

By: davejay

davejay — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:53:55 -0800

on the other hand "CoS" is shorthand recently adopted by a few members of my team to mean "Chain of Slowness", aka the terrible, terrible end-to-end technology chain for one of the products -- so I suppose Plat-Ag probably started via email -- but nobody says stuff like that out loud, do they? Like, nobody says "i-eighteen-n" when they mean internationalization, it's just shorthand used when typing.

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:56:02 -0800

There is meaning, it's just complex and could be better-stated. There are levels of meaning. Take "glocal". Level 1: It means nothing, since it isn't a word. Level 2: It means a combination of global and local. Level 3: So it means they'll do business with anyone? What business doesn't do that? The real message they are trying to get across with this word is "I just dazzled you with a cre8ive word and now I'm hoping you'll throw money at me." Which is what I said.

By: hilker

hilker — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:57:34 -0800

Some of these would be less awkward with a bit of copyediting, e.g. "app-discovery platform," not "app discovery-platform."

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:57:43 -0800

As a software developer I say "use case" all the time. It isn't empty business jargon. As technical jargon, it sort of works. As business jargon... meh. In the '90s, everyone used business terms to describe technology. Nowadays, everyone is using technology terms to describe business. In ten years, everyone is going to be using comic book references: "We're absolutely Reed Richardsing on our intention-aware technology masterplans. We hope to find a Lex Luthor for the fall unleashing, but we're prepared to go Secret Wars as an alternative to keep from Black Lanterning.

By: chavenet

chavenet — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:57:43 -0800

"Plat-Ag." I would like to know for what company the person who said this works, so I can go short their shares. Forever.

By: Devonian

Devonian — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:57:48 -0800

Welcome to my life already...

By: theodolite

theodolite — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:58:14 -0800

I thought it was a combination of global and lo-cal. Like hummus.

By: gurple

gurple — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:58:25 -0800

I can't read "glocal" without thinking "cloacal".

By: ook

ook — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 09:58:28 -0800

yeah baby I'm a first round funded Y.C. no-idea gamified maker-culture cloud based social network pivot master Nobody who doesn't live in Silicon Valley gives a shit

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:01:31 -0800

maker-culture Ugh, everything good gets taken over by leeches and made terrible. Another reason why worse is better.

By: kinnakeet

kinnakeet — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:02:32 -0800

Did anyone else, reading the list, imagine it in George Carlin's voice?

By: ook

ook — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:04:49 -0800

Well now I can't stop doing that, thanks kinnakeet

By: MuffinMan

MuffinMan — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:04:53 -0800

Glocal means something to me. The first part refers to the potential ubiquity of the service. The second part to the implementation of it. All business speak sounds like wankery, and further from profitability or less tangible the product/service, the more wankery it is.

By: stormpooper

stormpooper — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:10:11 -0800

See for us it would be "We fully support the Administration in providing strategic, cost-effective bla bla bla bla bla." If it has strategic and says a whole lot of nothing, yea, that's us.

By: sid

sid — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:10:12 -0800

Why is this notable? All industries are afflicted with jargon to some extent. None of these examples strike me as especially egregious.

By: scratch

scratch — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:10:23 -0800

While certainly not defending these hideous abuses of the English language, I do think it's funny that a community that loves academic jargon so much slags off on business jargon whenever it can. I edit shit like this: "Due to the specified metareflexive quality the examined corpus should possess blah blah yadda..." I think I can say with some authority that this community does not love academic jargon. In fact, there are some remarkably good writers here. That said, business jargon is also good for lulz.

By: Devils Rancher

Devils Rancher — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:11:41 -0800

I do think it's funny that a community that loves academic jargon so much slags off on business jargon whenever it can. I am actioning a plan to liaise between dynamic post dimensional, vertically integrated mass media marketing strategies and the personal results-oriented co-executive reform empowerment facilitators.

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:13:25 -0800

Glocal means something to me. The first part refers to the potential ubiquity of the service. The second part to the implementation of it. Maybe that is what they meant to impart. It doesn't make sense, though. If you have a global food business, say, that is "implemented locally" that means you are growing stuff HERE to sell THERE. That's just a global business, period. The opposite of local.

By: Tevin

Tevin — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:13:26 -0800

davejay, what does that mean in programming in terms? Like, how do you "iterate your butt off"? Because in normal usage, you have to iterate 'something' - iterating isn't a thing you just ... do.

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:13:58 -0800

[WE NEED MORE MONEY FOR OUR REDTUBE CLONE] (Closed captioning provided by Hyundai)

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:14:25 -0800

That was meant to follow Devils Rancher's comment.

By: chavenet

chavenet — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:14:39 -0800

Did anyone else, reading the list, imagine it in George Carlin's voice? Carlin 2.0 Seven Words You Can Never Say At All Plat-Ag Glocal Iterating Go-to-market Use-Case Gamified Butts

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:15:36 -0800

maker-culture Ugh, everything good gets taken over by leeches and made terrible. (not Fremen-ist)

By: aramaic

aramaic — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:17:23 -0800

Business jargon? Eh, try reading the abstracts from an academic architecture conference some time. It'll curl your hair, and not in a good way.

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:19:25 -0800

Anybody who says "I-18-n" aloud knows that it's something people are willing to pay other people to do, but doesn't actually know what it is. Fun game I've sometimes played: use arbitrary numbers and letters in business correspondence. See how people react.

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:20:25 -0800

You know, just because you actually say a word in your chosen profession doesn't mean it's not stupid and jargony. Words I have been forced to say with a straight face at meetings include only "operationalize" and "marquis footprint", but I still think they're stupid. I'm just not in charge of deciding whether they should be/must be used, is all.

By: Mars Saxman

Mars Saxman — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:21:25 -0800

This is not business jargon; this is a very specific slice of hype-over-content-driven tech startup industry jargon. That is, this is an industry which is all about coming up with an idea - ideally a small but profitable twist on something which has already been developed and sold to Google for billions - then flogging that idea as the most incredibly revolutionary new astonishing huge thing that is going to completely take over the world and destroy everything in its path, in hopes of scaring up a couple million in VC funding. After that, you continue flogging the idea as the biggest thing ever, only you actually start trying to convince people to pay you for it, in hopes of flipping the whole mess off onto some megacorporation (the "exit") in exchange for real money, which you can then spend doing it all over again.

By: notsnot

notsnot — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:21:41 -0800

"Plat-Ag" kinda tickled my own wannabe linguist funny bone. "Plata" is silver in Spanish. "Ag" is the chemical symbol for the element silver.

By: effugas

effugas — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:23:44 -0800

New York does not get to judge.

By: MuffinMan

MuffinMan — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:29:26 -0800

If you have a global food business, say, that is "implemented locally" that means you are growing stuff HERE to sell THERE. Why? The brand can be global, the manufacturing, implementation of the marketing strategy etc can be local.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:32:46 -0800

maker-culture They have Fremen at this thing? Were there spice samples? Was any mention made of the little makers, or were they forgotten like always?

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:35:49 -0800

Heh. I'm here doing the photography for TechCrunch. Believe me, the stuff NY Mag put here is pretty tame compared with what I've heard.

By: Jehan

Jehan — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:44:56 -0800

"What's your current go-to-market strategy?"

I think that's a pretty neat word. "Go-to-market" seems to describe a particular process in starting a business or putting a new product out. I suppose it is jargon, but much clearer than a lot.

By: TwoWordReview

TwoWordReview — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:52:09 -0800

Like, nobody says "i-eighteen-n" when they mean internationalization I couldn't figure out how these two things were related to each other (much less mean the same thing) and so I had to google it and now I hate the world just a little bit more than I did when I woke up this morning...

By: LN

LN — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:53:29 -0800

So much of this is just a verbal marker of belonging and social positioning among peers. I don't know why we do this, but we do. I attended a meeting of a number of senior management recently, where one dropped the jargon word "ring fence" into the conversation. Almost reflexively, each and every senior manager then attempted to find a way to work "ring fence" into a sentence. It was almost comical to see how they jockeyed to indicate that they were part of the group through the use of words. Oh, and glocal definitely is a word in the social sciences, meaning how a global movement is adapted and made use of by a local community, rather than simply swallowing the community. It indicates the continuance, survival and adaptation of a specific culture against global pressures to assimilate or become homogeneous.

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:55:14 -0800

My go-to-market strategy involves dragging my granny cart about two blocks down the street.

By: bukvich

bukvich — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:58:04 -0800

Go-to market strategy makes oodles more sense to me than go-to-market strategy. Is there maybe a typo there?

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 10:58:19 -0800

ACTUAL THINGS THAT CAME OUT OF HUMAN BEINGS MOUTHS AT THE EVOLUTION CONFERENCE "If you examine the molecules..." "The traits were inherited by the male offspring." "Evolutionary processes give rise to diversity at every level of biological organization." "Simian" "Biological imperative dictates that..." HAHAHAHHAHA weirdos.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:00:48 -0800

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

By: mrbill

mrbill — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:05:09 -0800

Where's the video? "Things Startup Yes-Men (and women) Say, Vol. 1".

By: MikeMc

MikeMc — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:09:07 -0800

"We don't measure our success by financial results." I wish I would have said that before our new owners announced they were closing us down Q1 of '13. I might have changed the course of history had I but known that one simple phrase...

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:11:25 -0800

"This is good, but what is best in life?" "Financial results." "Wrong! Conan! What is best in life? "To crush your competitors, see them downsized before you, and to hear the lamentation of their vendors.

By: zippy

zippy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:13:59 -0800

Why is this notable? All industries ~~are afflicted with~~ have jargon ~~to some extent.~~ ~~None of these examples strike me as especially egregious.~~ Precise and concise matters to some. In the examples from the confirence, it is not the jargon, but the meaningless cliches and the puffery. The speaker isn't showing thought in what they are saying.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:23:03 -0800

Can you give some examples that are puffery as opposed to terms you just don't understand? A Go-to-market strategy for instance is essentially "a plan for getting customers." It's a perfectly normal thing to ask at a tech conference.

By: oulipian

oulipian — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:25:44 -0800

It doesn't matter what comes out of the mouths! It just matters that the mouths are projected onto a two-story videoscreen against a TechCrunch-green background whilst simultaneously being tweeted, +1'd, githubbed and HN'd. Thus spoke McLuhan.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:26:55 -0800

+1 Klout in Glocal.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:27:57 -0800

I mean I hate the term "disruption" but not because it's pretentious (though it is highfalutin). I hate it because the way the tech economy works often is by convincing some rich people that even though you making something that someone else does much better (it's a Google Search killer!) you are going to Disrupt their established means of profiting by doing something old differently instead of making a product that does something new and awesome. If you actually make something new and awesome, you don' t have to disrupt anything, and everyone will want to fund you anyway.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:29:59 -0800

Eh I don't know why I'm defending a bunch of CEOs. It just seems like there are a lot more things wrong with the industry than the jargon, which is on the whole pretty clear and useful for talking about businessy markety stuff.

By: griphus

griphus — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:30:00 -0800

Klout in Glocal The hippest neighborhood in R'lyeh.

By: zippy

zippy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:40:41 -0800

It's a perfectly normal thing to ask at a tech conference. I'm an entrepreneur. I recognize these things are normal to hear. My parents were english teachers, so these things can be painful to hear, because ... Jargon and any specialized vocabulary is good where necessary - when it allows a more exact expression (to a particular audience) than everyday English: "broken tibia" rather than "broken leg." "OPSEC" rather than "secrecy," "tort" rather than "wrong." It is bad where it takes longer than the equivalent everyday English to explain a concept, or where it is a cliched expression that shows the speaker does not think about how to express things directly. For instance, while "what is your go-to-market strategy?" is precise, it is an unnessary cliche and could be said more simply and just as clearly: "how will you launch?" or "who are your first customers?" The jargon doesn't do anything other than show "I have learnt this jargon." Using a cliche is not a sin, but someone who primarily uses cliches is parroting rather than thinking about what they want to express. So heavy cliche, as sometimes seen in communities, is an indicator of shallow thought.

By: zippy

zippy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 11:41:44 -0800

... heavy cliche use ...

By: mmrtnt

mmrtnt — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:20:43 -0800

Plagnostic Iterati - People who keep trying to control the world.

By: zippy

zippy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:29:25 -0800

The Iterati are the subject of this upcoming documentary.

By: mmrtnt

mmrtnt — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:41:36 -0800

This thread has inspired me to publish my 2011 wordlist. Feel free to use any of those in business or to annoy someone.

By: ShutterBun

ShutterBun — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:44:25 -0800

Can we Rasta-fy it by 10%?

By: memebake

memebake — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:45:36 -0800

rocket88: Needs more enterprise solutions. No, no, no ... none of these people would be seen _dead_ using the word 'enterprise'. Entirely the wrong dialect of jargon. These people scoff at the Enterprisey lot the same as we scoff at them.

By: NMcCoy

NMcCoy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 13:10:50 -0800

I would have thought Plat-Ag was an alloy of platinum and silver.

By: Phyllis Harmonic

Phyllis Harmonic — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 13:25:06 -0800

"Anybody who says "I-18-n" aloud . . . doesn't actually know what it is." S2e of us do. BR P5s H6c

By: Katemonkey

Katemonkey — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 13:34:47 -0800

In ten years, everyone is going to be using comic book references: "We're absolutely Reed Richardsing on our intention-aware technology masterplans. We hope to find a Lex Luthor for the fall unleashing, but we're prepared to go Secret Wars as an alternative to keep from Black Lanterning. What, you mean you're already not? Man, I was totally going to Stark that up, but then Dave got all Cap on me and I had to completely Galactus the project. Dammit.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 13:42:05 -0800

I look forward to the day when meetings are all "Shaka when the walls fell". Though this is business, so probably more of the "Sisko in the Pale Moonlight" sort.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 13:42:18 -0800

/Perfects anti-life business equation upon mastering the Facebook API.

By: mmrtnt

mmrtnt — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:02:32 -0800

Glocalalia?

By: Mr. Bad Example

Mr. Bad Example — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:32:53 -0800

They have Fremen at this thing? Were there spice samples? You know what they say...he who controls the spice leverages his market position vis-a-vis the Spacing Guild and uses that business strategy to control the universe on a going-forward basis.

By: Zed

Zed — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:54:48 -0800

We're absolutely Reed Richardsing on our intention-aware technology masterplans. We hope to find a Lex Luthor for the fall unleashing, but we're prepared to go Secret Wars as an alternative to keep from Black Lanterning. There's a hilarious sequence in Jonathan Hickman's Future Foundation in which Dr. Doom invites a collection of other mad scientists to a symposium at the Baxter Building to discuss strategies to defeat Reed Richards. see! there's a sort-of tech conference connection there! totally not a derail!

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 17:25:43 -0800

Plagform Atnostic was Slartibartfast's direct report in the fjord design department, as I recall.

By: Uther Bentrazor

Uther Bentrazor — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 07:52:13 -0800

I think that's a pretty neat word. "Go-to-market" seems to describe a particular process in starting a business or putting a new product out. I suppose it is jargon, but much clearer than a lot. posted by Jehan at 1:44 PM on September 11 [+] [!] Really? I think of piggies, some of whom have roast beef.

By: modernserf

modernserf — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 08:59:08 -0800

I hope PlatAg catches on, cause I just registered platag.com.