Comments on: Did he just rhyme Samuel Pepys?

Did he just rhyme Samuel Pepys?

timsteil — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:23:03 -0800

Kids, don't ever challenge your English professor to a rap battle.

By: etherist

etherist — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:27:16 -0800

Great stuff! The britishisms give this extra win.

By: alby

alby — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:28:06 -0800

For those of you that know the UK education system the line "I hope you drop dead. If I punch you in the face, who are you going to call? Ofsted?" is brilliant.

By: Nelson

Nelson — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:31:58 -0800

They really should teach Shakespeare this way in schools. The verse and riposte is so lovely once you get past the gulf of 400 years of language change. Plus it's full of dirty jokes.

By: joost de vries

joost de vries — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:34:28 -0800

Intellectuals should do more verbal taunting. Real life, face to face. If you're so snotty; prove it man to man.

By: Fizz

Fizz — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:36:07 -0800

That was amazing. Thank you for posting.

By: Xoebe

Xoebe — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:37:11 -0800

Second Link: Infection Details URL:http://www.markgrist.com/ Process:file://C:\Program Files\Mozilla Firefox\... Infection:js:Redirector-NT [Trj] The third link, the YouTube video, was pretty amazing.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:37:19 -0800

Extreme babysitting. Lol.

By: mhoye

mhoye — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:37:25 -0800

There's a line from Gibson's "Burning Chrome" - "The street finds its own uses for things" - that's extremely relevant here.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:39:37 -0800

Anyway getting through "blizzard"s segments were painful.

By: IndigoJones

IndigoJones — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:39:42 -0800

They really should teach Shakespeare this way in schools. At least one man has done this with Chaucer.

By: Xoebe

Xoebe — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:41:01 -0800

Ok, oddly, I return to the second link, and there is no reaction at all from Avast. I don't have a certain explanation for this behavior; Avast isn't known for scaring people unnecessarily.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:45:46 -0800

Intellectuals should do more verbal taunting. Real life, face to face.

Actually, In Galileo's time, that's (in part) how 'science' was done. Each city would have their own intellectuals and they would try to bring honor to their city giving lectures where they badmouthed the ideas of intellectuals from other cities. Galileo came up with the idea of scaling laws but didn't release it until the end of his life, and Bertrand Russel thought it might have been because he put down the ideas of another intellectual (about the shape and location of hell) using arguments that relied on scale invariance.

By: Saxon Kane

Saxon Kane — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:55:27 -0800

Indigo Jones: That's just embarrassing.

By: FunGus

FunGus — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:56:30 -0800

There's some pretty serious yo' mamma pwnage in the second round of the battle.

By: NotMyselfRightNow

NotMyselfRightNow — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:57:23 -0800

It's like the sequal to 8 Miles: 12.87 Kilometers

By: kozad

kozad — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:02:03 -0800

Wow. The professor directly addressing disgusting sexual remarks to his opponent's mother (looking into the camera)? That's hardly fair play.

By: omnikron

omnikron — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:12:17 -0800

that's hardly fair play Call the rap police!

By: strangely stunted trees

strangely stunted trees — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:12:30 -0800

Are you kidding? It's a rap battle. Of course it's fair play, it's one of the most traditional moves you can make. That's basically how the form started, in playing The Dozens. My question is, what do you do with your life after you get taken to school like that by a middle aged guy in a blazer and tie? Do you just never rap again, or is it more of like a move to a monastery and undergo years of intense training to one day redeem yourself type of situation?

By: IndigoJones

IndigoJones — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:15:18 -0800

Indigo Jones: That's just embarrassing. Perhaps, but is it effective? I'm willing to bet that a better proportion of his students remember those lines than their peers do.

By: Philosopher Dirtbike

Philosopher Dirtbike — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:16:36 -0800

My question is, what do you do with your life after you get taken to school like that by a middle aged guy in a blazer and tie? Do you just never rap again, or is it more of like a move to a monastery and undergo years of intense training to one day redeem yourself type of situation? You're a poet and you don't even...actually, you probably knew it. Carry on.

By: ~

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:17:44 -0800

That was incredibly sweet, revealing a depth of knowledge about and faith in his students I am in awe of.

By: EatTheWeak

EatTheWeak — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:23:20 -0800

Flagged as the most fun I've had online all week.

By: kozad

kozad — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:30:33 -0800

Tibetan smack-down. (short SLYT)

By: kendrak

kendrak — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:33:39 -0800

Mark Grist is a beast. I don't know how I got hooked on Don't Flop, but he is always good for it. Though I do sort of roll my eyes when he trots out the Oedipal references, which he's quite fond of, but it's better than most of the "yo momma" tropes. Blizzard is also not that good.

By: outlandishmarxist

outlandishmarxist — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:38:05 -0800

I'm surprised people are so hard on Blizzard. He did a really good job, especially considering that he's seventeen years old. His line about teachers like Mr. Grist being the reason people like him are so angry hit home more than any of Grist's lines about his mother being easy. He may not deliver the punchlines you like (or that you get, not having access to some of the references), but he still delivers enough punchlines to be interesting. And his delivery is far better from a musical perspective that Grist's, who rhymes like he's speaking, not like he's rapping. I still think Grist won, but shit, I give the kid a lot of credit.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:50:48 -0800

I'm surprised people are so hard on Blizzard. He did a really good job, especially considering that he's seventeen years old.

He was just a bad rapper. Listening him was just annoying, even before I heard the Mr. Grist stuff I was already annoyed. Maybe he's a nice kid but that doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy listening to him rap badly.

By: gorgor_balabala

gorgor_balabala — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:53:41 -0800

I agree, the kid did well. I know it's just a boy's room rap battle, but I hated Grist for first calling Blizzard out for sexism and then proceeding to lay hatred on female anatomy generally and reinforce heteronormism. And his screed felt more rehearsed, which brings me to the question (lifelong ad hominem-o-phobe that I have been): How much preparation do these dudes do? Is it all written out in advance? It does not feel as spontaneous (or as genuine) as the (entire crowd plus performers) want to feel it is.

By: cmoj

cmoj — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:53:42 -0800

Blizzard wasn't that bad. he got owned, but he definitely had his moments. The beautiful thing is that they both seemed to get through to each other. Blizzard seemed to gain some respect for Grist and some perspective on what Grist actually hoped to do as a teacher, and Grist seemed to understand the tirade building up to the line about teachers like him making him angry inside. I do wonder, though, how much actual animosity there is there. I was pretty precocious and anti-authority at that age, but had a sort of mutual understanding with some of my favorite and best teachers that resulted in us seeming to give each other a pretty hard time.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:03:51 -0800

They were shaking hands between battles and showed, from what I've seen of DF, an unusual degree of obvious good feeling. Blizzard looks both shamed and proud at the same time by the end.

By: humanfont

humanfont — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:22:54 -0800

Man vs kid and the man wins. Or doses he? I mean he beat a kid.

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:27:44 -0800

Man vs kid and the man wins. Or doses he? I mean he beat a kid. Teaching 16 and 17 year-olds is not easy, and they are very good at winning in a classroom setting surrounded by their peers.

By: MaryDellamorte

MaryDellamorte — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:28:09 -0800

I got the windows security shield virus from the second link. My computer is unusable at the moment and I'm typing this from my phone. If anyone would be so kind as to memail removal instructions, I'd be grateful.

By: Edgewise

Edgewise — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:30:40 -0800

Blizzard had a much better flow at a couple of points, and some terrific wordplay a few times (although he really didn't need to pause to point that out, like he did). Grist was just way better on the entertainment front, with punchline after punchline, and a great framing for the "Mrs. Green" segment. I would have even said it was close until the last round, at which point Grist dominated with superior wordplay. I do wonder, though, how much actual animosity there is there. I get the feeling it's absolute zero. They actually seemed relatively friendly for a rap battle...it's very rare to see competitors admiring their opponent's lines mid-verse. At least in American rap battles, they usually act a lot more antagonistic. ...but I hated Grist for first calling Blizzard out for sexism and then proceeding to lay hatred on female anatomy generally and reinforce heteronormism I'm afraid that this is just the wrong art form for you...it only gets worse from here.

By: Edgewise

Edgewise — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:35:36 -0800

It does not feel as spontaneous (or as genuine) as the (entire crowd plus performers) want to feel it is. It's partly spontaneous, partly prepared. Your verses have to be partly tailored to your opponent, with even some rebuttal, to show that you can think on your feet. You think Blizzard showed up with a whole lot of prepared remarks against teachers? Very doubtful, unless this was literally the only battle of the night (and Grist referred a couple of times to Blizzard beating some Australian girl earlier, presumably that night). Trust me, most people there have a very solid idea of how spontaneous things actually are. The reality is amazing enough.

By: RokkitNite

RokkitNite — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:40:50 -0800

Ha! I was waiting to see if this would get posted on Mefi. I know Mark well and chatted to him before and after the battle - this has been a really weird week for him! His background's in performance poetry, which he does full-time now after quitting his position as a full-time teacher. To give up a well-paid, safe job in the middle of a recession to go into performance poetry, of all things, is a pretty ballsy decision. I think after that competing in a battle league is small beer. He did his first rap battle over a year ago, as a challenge from an MC he was doing a show with. It was supposed to be the culmination of his education in hip-hop. He could have just sent himself up and acted like an embarrassing dad, but instead he took it really seriously and - to his (and the audience's) surprise - he won. Since then, he's kept it up, and although he's not an MC, he's gaining huge respect on the Don't Flop circuit because he's genuinely giving it his all. He has another battle in about an hour, in Leeds, against a guy called Zain Azrai. Should be up in a few weeks. Anyway, I take my hat off to him. I had a beer with him a few days after the video went up, and he said rewatching it was painful, because he can see the sheer terror in his eyes. I was shocked - I thought he looked cool as a cucumber.

By: RokkitNite

RokkitNite — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:44:21 -0800

It's partly spontaneous, partly prepared. Your verses have to be partly tailored to your opponent, with even some rebuttal, to show that you can think on your feet. You think Blizzard showed up with a whole lot of prepared remarks against teachers? Very doubtful, unless this was literally the only battle of the night (and Grist referred a couple of times to Blizzard beating some Australian girl earlier, presumably that night). Trust me, most people there have a very solid idea of how spontaneous things actually are. The reality is amazing enough. Actually, in DF you know your opponent a couple of months in advance. The whole battle is prepared - there's almost no freestyles, unless someone fucks up and forgets their bars. Yes, you might write a rebuttal line that you could drop in if someone uses a particular insult on you, that you've anticipated, but otherwise this is all worked out and practised long before showtime. The battle with a female MC happened at a previous night.

By: outlandishmarxist

outlandishmarxist — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:44:25 -0800

Listening him was just annoying, even before I heard the Mr. Grist stuff I was already annoyed. If his voice was an octave lower, you'd have no problem with it.

By: WaspEnterprises

WaspEnterprises — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:56:01 -0800

Lesson: wearing a suit and tie to a rap battle ensures that you'll look respectable, even when describing indelicate acts performed by your opponent's mother.

By: d. z. wang

d. z. wang — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:02:17 -0800

I don't suppose these ever get transcribed? This sort of wordplay and political incorrectness is just the sort of thing I could see myself getting into, except I can barely understand three words in ten.

By: msalt

msalt — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:04:35 -0800

RokkitNite: Cool! Please tell him to fix his website though. At best it's badly programmed and I had a bunch of errors escaping from it. More likely its seriously infected with something.

By: yeolcoatl

yeolcoatl — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:07:32 -0800

I like how the english professor has a drink in his hand, just because he's the only one in the room who can, and then makes sure to make a point about it in the battle.

By: Decani

Decani — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:49:55 -0800

That almost gave me hope for modern British education. Bloody hilarious.

By: utsutsu

utsutsu — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:06:36 -0800

I don't know why, but whenever I hear rap in a british accent it almost always annoys me. I really don't get it, because I don't have this reaction in a non-rap context.

By: Neekee

Neekee — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:25:12 -0800

I like how the kid genuinely liked some of Grist's lines. That was cool.

By: rh

rh — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:51:58 -0800

I got this from the second link. It tried to download a PDF from an Indian (.in) domain... it's a wordpress site and looking at the source I'd guess he's got a dodgy template script installed.

Category: Exploit
Description: This program is dangerous and exploits the computer on which it is run.
Recommended action: Remove this software immediately.
Items: http://[some domain].in/[somePath]/lsff.pdf

By: reenum

reenum — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:52:25 -0800

Next up for Grist, a battle with Mad Skillz, Danja Mowf, and Saafir.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:57:11 -0800

utsutsu: "I don't know why, but whenever I hear rap in a british accent it almost always annoys me. I really don't get it, because I don't have this reaction in a non-rap context." What do you feel about Rap: The Musical? "I'm goin' on a drive by, just my posse and me... I'm a gangster of the old' school, you can call me O.G."

By: reenum

reenum — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:57:39 -0800

Here's another battle: Mark Grist vs. Mos Prob.

By: lupus_yonderboy

lupus_yonderboy — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:05:09 -0800

This was the first rap battle I really enjoyed - mainly because all the rest of them seem to reuse the same material over and over again. I have to say that I think this ability to speak in poetry is intrinsic in humans if they allow themselves to relax and practice a little. I started adding a third verse in a cover song that I do and simply make up lyrics, usually something to do with the event I'm playing at, and it's worked easily every time. It's bizarrely easier to do on stage than it is to do in practice, too... because you're basically forced into keeping going. And having a tune helps too...

By: MaryDellamorte

MaryDellamorte — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:06:02 -0800

With the second link being so dodgy, why is it still up?

By: hot soup girl

hot soup girl — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:57:34 -0800

> Here's another battle: Mark Grist vs. Mos Prob. The bit at 8:00 where Grist takes down Mos Prob "with a single vowel" is pretty amazing.

By: metaculpa

metaculpa — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:12:18 -0800

Holy shit Reenum, that link is outstanding. It's not his best minute by any means - he's clearly improved since then. BUT HIS LAST ROUND ONLY USES THE LETTER O. " Mos-Prop's low on dosh, so cops two goons. Moss-Prop follows goons down to loo. Controls throb of knob how mos-prop's mommy do. Goon looks down. Moss prop shows shock - no! - Gordon Brown?" Also, "Moss-Prop mops to Bono." might be the best insult in the english language

By: metaculpa

metaculpa — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:13:09 -0800

Dammit, Moss Prob.

By: cmoj

cmoj — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:21:04 -0800

The bit at 8:00 I bet that guy's really good at crosswords.

By: metaculpa

metaculpa — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:23:22 -0800

Well, he wins at board games

By: pb

pb — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:34:03 -0800

[potential malware link removed, carry on.]

By: obscurator

obscurator — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:47:06 -0800

Guess you have to be really forgiving/tolerant to see this as good-natured ribbing and verbal jousting, instead of outright hateful speech. I'm wondering what the subsequent class atmosphere is for these two, although "Blizz" seems to imply that he's foregone his continuing studies because he hates Grist so much. But, if I were him, this battle would certainly instill in me a grand respect for my elder, despite the content...

And, just when I was devising a comment along the lines of "what would Socrates think of this teacher/student interaction..?" Mr. Grist spits:
"I don't have to rap like Socrates to expose your mediocrity."
HEAVY. Love this, thank you for the post!

By: running order squabble fest

running order squabble fest — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:33:04 -0800

I'm wondering what the subsequent class atmosphere is for these two, although "Blizz" seems to imply that he's foregone his continuing studies because he hates Grist so much. It seems like Grist is no longer teaching - which I was wondering about as well: doing this with a current student would feel like a breach of ethics, and even doing it while still teaching would seem to be a pretty risky thing to do.

By: mrbill

mrbill — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:37:55 -0800

Would Blizzard Vs H-Bomb be the previous battle that was referred to?

By: mrbill

mrbill — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:53:44 -0800

The only thing that bothers me about Blizzard is that he does way too much waiting for applause/feedback after every line and looking to the audience or camera as if asking for approval.

By: gorgor_balabala

gorgor_balabala — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:24:37 -0800

I'm afraid that this is just the wrong art form for you...it only gets worse from here. "Here" being, where boys are enabled in their chauvinism by their superiors and then proceed to abuse women for the rest of their lives ("there")?

By: Dark Messiah

Dark Messiah — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:30:00 -0800

"Here" being, where boys are enabled in their chauvinism by their superiors and then proceed to abuse women for the rest of their lives ("there")? Or maybe it's some people having fun saying disgusting things in complete jest. Lighten up.

By: Decani

Decani — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:17:48 -0800

"Here" being, where boys are enabled in their chauvinism by their superiors and then proceed to abuse women for the rest of their lives ("there")? Oh Mefi, you never let me down.

By: gorgor_balabala

gorgor_balabala — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:42:42 -0800

Yes, I started femi-trolling there. Sorry.

By: running order squabble fest

running order squabble fest — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:52:11 -0800

The "your mum" stuff isn't very original, though - it's the standard well-water of the rap battle. What does make this one a bit weird is that presumably this guy has met Blizzard's mother, probably seen her at parent's evenings... it's sort of odd, from that perspective. The mother in the average calling of the dozens is more of a hypothetical mother. So, that was odd. Sandals-Gandalf-Porn Stash-World of Warcraft, on the other hand, was beautiful.

By: FAMOUS MONSTER

FAMOUS MONSTER — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:59:59 -0800

I was a little on the fence about the "your mum" stuff although the camera setup was novel, but basically it was all a setup for the Pokemon punchline which was like this amazing flurry of direct hits. I actually applauded involuntarily after it despite being alone just now.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:05:27 -0800

Guess you have to be really forgiving/tolerant to see this as good-natured ribbing and verbal jousting, instead of outright hateful speech. I'm gonna go ahead and agree with this sentiment. The casual use of the homosexual as an insult is really just, um, not okay.

By: hot soup girl

hot soup girl — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:32:11 -0800

> Guess you have to be really forgiving/tolerant to see this as good-natured ribbing and verbal jousting, instead of outright hateful speech. Yeah. I briefly toyed with the idea of making a trip to Brixton to see one of these battles in person—and quickly decided that as much as I enjoy the skill shown here, actually being in the same room as that sort of hate speech is going to be deeply unpleasant for me.

By: andreaazure

andreaazure — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:17:30 -0800

I rise above your hate Though I hate above your rise Your simple words deny you my prize As I sit here, synthesize from the top of my head, not prepping lyrics in bed That your mom tucked you into, she said "get a good night's sleep son, and try to keep it clean like that andreaazure and avoid the mean." Oh dammit, I invoked "your mom" Sinking down to the level of your vocal pipe bomb instead of a surgical knife, you cut wide like a machete or you would, if your words weren't so forgetty while I spit it Natural like Tom Petty. Palms are sweaty? Been there, done that Like your f-bomb popgun going tat-tat-tat A failure of imagination, you lack the mental tool Guess the teacher done took you to school. (Time.)

By: andreaazure

andreaazure — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:17:51 -0800

(I would love to do this, even if I am not that good at it. Here is probably how I would try -- I would want to rap like Jelly Donut. By the way, that video is almost six years old on YouTube... and YouTube is only about seven years old. Woah.)

By: Edgewise

Edgewise — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:19:06 -0800

Actually, in DF you know your opponent a couple of months in advance. Oh, really? That's a bit of a disappointment, then. I mean, for spontaneous stuff, that would have been pure top shelf. For prepared material, it was definitely good, but my mind isn't quite as blown as it was.

By: timsteil

timsteil — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:48:29 -0800

I think I knew which way the wind was blowing right after the "extreme babysitting" line, and Blizz just covers his face I was waiting for the thought balloon that said... "Oh shite."

By: naoko

naoko — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 11:03:51 -0800

I'm with hot soup girl - this was extremely clever in some places but made me very uncomfortable in others. Maybe this is just me, but I thought the "your mom" parts and that sort of thing were also significantly less funny, in addition to the whole misogyny thing.

By: Quisp Lover

Quisp Lover — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 16:53:56 -0800

Agreed with outlandishmarxist that, in musical terms, the kid won, no contest. Not for nothing is this called rap music. The prof - obviously brilliant - would not have gotten over in, like Queens, where it's about music and balls rather than iambic wit. But as a middle aged dude, I root for my own. Smart to wear that blazer. Wouldn't have worked nearly as good if he'd come in all Sandleresque in a baggy t-shirt.

By: subbes

subbes — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:04:56 -0800

Who pulled the string on this clichéd hip hop minion? Who's this underage knockoff with his store bought opinion?